Each week in The Wisdom of Change blog series, I share the original artwork and unpack the insights and meaning behind one of the 44 cards in The Wisdom of Change oracle deck.
This week’s card is 8: Alignment
How I love the energy of alignment; even the word sounds good to me.
How does it feel to you?
For so long I was out of alignment with myself and I had no idea how catastrophic the effects of this would be.
For many years I had been a ‘no’ to myself. I think it must have started out as one or two casual denials of my preferences; something along the lines of ‘I’d better finish this essay rather than go out with friends’ and it built up from there. Over time I lost the ability to discern a good (self-serving) ‘no’ from a bad one (denial of myself and my needs). It gradually became all about what I couldn’t do and what wasn’t possible for me.
Several years down the line, I found myself in a relationship that wasn’t serving either of us, in a career that wasn’t fulfilling me anymore and wondering why everything felt not quite right (when to an outsider looking in, my life must have looked to be just fine). Looking back, I see how sustained ‘no you can’t’ conversations with yourself can lead to a place of low grade, long term unhappiness.
Whilst training to become a coach, an invitation to consider what I truly wanted from life was bittersweet. The joyous realisation of all that was available and possible for me lit my life with optimism. At the same time, the gap between where I found myself and where I wanted to be felt like an aching, unbridgeable chasm. It was both deeply uncomfortable and undeniably seductive to shine a light on how misaligned I actually was.
At least I had a diagnosis.
Despite the discomfort it causes when we admit that what we really want is notably absent, it’s important to align internally with our true desires. To begin with, this may simply be a journey in our minds eye; a deep recognition of what’s calling us from within; to allow it to exist as an uncomfortably ‘not yet achieved’ goal. It’s important to get clear on where we are aiming, because we can’t hit a target we can’t see.
Maybe you’ve already done this.
‘Head space’ goals are a great starting point. Thinking about what we want is valuable, but we can get stuck in our head. When this happened to me it helped to be offered the following perspective:
You are not your thoughts.
Our desires can stay frustratingly out of reach whilst they remain in thought form; a mental to do list; something we will accomplish ‘someday’. To bring them closer; to experience them in our day-to-day reality, we need to act as though they are already with us. We need to align with them energetically as if they are our current reality.
This requires what I laughingly consider to be a form of schizophrenia. I am certainly not a mental health professional, so here’s what I mean when I use this term from a layman’s perspective; that when you have your heart’s desires firmly in your minds eye, but you are not yet living them as your daily reality, it can feel like you are two different people fighting to inhabit the same body.
When I find myself here I need something to integrate the person I want to be with the reality I am still waking up with or I fear I may remain forever in a state of crazy!
Here’s what I do, and it works a treat:
I shift my thoughts ‘down’; move them from a ‘thought form’ and drop them into my body to experience them as a feeling. Acting as though and thinking as if the thing I want is already with me was is an important shift. Feeling the way I would if I had already achieved what I long for raises my energetic vibration to become a closer match to what I have not yet achieved.
Match the energy of how you feel with the thought of what you want, and you will close the gap between wishing and having.
It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes a little (lot!) of persistence, faith and a sustained effort in silencing my inner critic, but I get there in the end. When I want to give up, sell out on myself and call myself delusional, I accept that I have nowhere else to go but towards my true desires.
If your back is against the wall, hang in there; your awareness means you are already finding your way forward.
Today I choose to notice where I am out of alignment and return myself to where I’d rather be.
How about you?
I hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s connection to your inner wisdom.
As always, I’d love to hear your comments below.