Sometimes you are delivered one of those pivotal days.
At the start of the year, I had an explosive argument with my husband that left me scratching my head and wondering how we reached that level of miscommunication.
Years ago, it would have been catastrophic; my ego would have stopped at nothing to emerge victorious. I would have surfaced from our fight exhausted and tear-stained. We’d have patched things up, but I’d have felt remorseful, confused by my actions, unsettled in our relationship and none the wiser from our time in battle. A little piece of me would have died and I would not know why.
Somewhere in the past decade, I decided that this kind of interaction with the world around me had to stop. When I was ready to listen and remained open to the answers available to me, I was able to ‘do the work’ of profound personal change.
My inner wisdom guided me to break the cycle of unresourceful relationships, to bid farewell to the unending stream of self-flagellation, to see that ‘working hard for no reward’ is not a woman’s destiny, and that feeling less than and ‘wondering what life is all about’ is not why we are here.
It meant that I recognised my argument with my husband yesterday as the lovingly designed lesson it was meant to be; not an invitation to descend into confusion, angst and drama. The things my ego so dearly wanted to level at him was the work I needed to do with myself. The journey towards raised consciousness is often bittersweet!
I retreated to my room with adrenaline coursing through my veins. I let myself hear the screaming voices within. I resisted projecting them outwards where they would never find resolution. I let my unrest search for people, places and circumstances to blame. I indulged the internal ranting for as long as it needed until it started to calm down. I nursed and ministered to myself like I would a toddler having a temper tantrum. Finally, my accusations realised they could not reasonably blame anyone or anything for the way my ego felt.
And there is was; in the stillness of giving myself space, I was reminded to recommit to my own desires; to the things I have promised myself and the projects I have been working on. I rested and allowed myself to access what I have learnt. I selected a book from my shelf and accepted its advice to ‘centre my thoughts on the thing that I want’. I picked up a pencil and wrote on the back page ‘my first published book’.
The following morning I woke to a LinkedIn message from Sibella publications:
You, your website and awesome message rings clear the kind of positive energy and integrated wholeness our readership audience would love to hear more about. YOU CAN DO THIS!
Since January 2021 I have been one of the contributing article writers for this global online publication with an enormous readership.
Each woman’s life purpose continues to call her towards her highest good. I’ve learnt to listen for that call and take intuitive action.
I intend that these words are of service and a call-to-action for you too.
You’ve got this.