How to Play Big
I’ve become somewhat fascinated about the subject of how we grow in life and work as we get older. When we are young, our growth is largely defined by what we learn at school and how far we continue in post compulsory education. For many of us the rhythm of school, sixth form, university and postgraduate studies shapes our life, how we live it, who we hang out with and most probably the type of career we end up in.
Then our ‘grown up’ life happens. The demands of work, climbing the ladder, the search for a soul mate, where we chose to reside, the decision to have children or not and how we juggle friends, family, fitness and free time. It keeps most of us pretty busy; mentally, physically and emotionally. We barely have a minute to look up and question ‘where is all this going?’ For most of us, we are having too much fun and too many sleepless nights with little ones to worry about much more than getting through each day with all our faculties in tact.
Then inevitably we experience the odd wheel coming off. We find ourselves a few pounds heavier than we’d ideally like, not so full of energy, in a relationship that is not serving either of us, day dreaming about how we might escape the hamster wheel of work and wondering what its all about. We realize many of the things that made us deeply happy are not part of our daily life anymore. It can all feel dull, grey and flat and a bit like trying to push a boulder up a hill.
Now we have a choice. I see so many people sub optimize at this stage in life because quite frankly we have no idea how to fix this. We are in too deep and can’t see our way out. Every escape route looks messy and impractical and we suddenly feel unresourceful and isolate. We look around our immediate peer group and see no one else is handling the same situation any better. Everyone we know seems to be in the same boat and no one is having an honest conversation about it. It’s strangely terrifying. Most of us turn to some form of socially acceptable addiction to drown it all out and hope for the best.
In order to climb my way out of this state I had to take some pretty big action and get my head around some very new ways of thinking. From time to time I stumble across a book that speaks to my soul because someone out there has managed to capture exactly how I feel, nail exactly the issue I’m currently grappling with and put a whole new spin on the solution for me. Playing Big by Tara Mohr is one of those book beauties, recommended to me by my coach for the next 12 months as a ‘key text’.
Tara takes you by the hand shares her personal and professional observations about why women can find themselves stuck, playing small and wondering why they feel inexplicably sidelined by their experience of life. Her book describes an inside out way of understanding your fear, unhooking from praise and criticism, tapping into your inner wisdom, communicating more powerfully and the nature of your calling. It’s a gorgeous read and had me nodding sagely to myself in recognition of the way in which we unintentionally hide from our best lives.
I look forward to hearing what you think.