I’ve had some pretty huge breakthroughs and ‘aha!’ moments over the last 10 years. They began arriving thick and fast when I realized that my life wasn’t the way I wanted it to be. Strange really. No one else could see there was anything wrong and on one level I don’t suppose there was. No life threatening illness, near death experience, violent crime against anyone I knew, or me. Life just didn’t feel right, exciting, fun or purposeful anymore.
There was no one moment when everything fell into place; where I suddenly woke up knowing what my mission on planet earth was (thought I really wished that would be the case!) It was more a series of deeply insightful tipping points where I discovered another little nugget about myself. I’d join the dots and realize that a particular way of acting and/or thinking wasn’t working for me anymore.
I felt like a detective. Sometimes I’d notice a pattern of behavior that kept leading me down the same dead end outcome (wonky relationship choices was a specialty for me). Once I unearthed the culprit and could see how and why my thoughts and/or behaviors were holding me back, it was such a relief. I could finally say to myself ‘Enough Wendy. This stops here’.
Enough of having my first waking thought every morning being ‘Oh no, I’m still fat’.
Enough of saying ‘yes’ to relationships with men based on the fact they liked me (and then me trying to make that right for both of us and craft a functional partnership from it).
Enough of me living the way my family expected me to, then finding nothing felt exciting, expansive or expressive enough.
Enough of feeling guilty about any thought in my head that might lead me to experience more from life.
Sometimes simply shining the light on the previously hidden (to me) behavior was enough for it to stop. Oftentimes I needed some help to see in the first place and shift it for good. It can be hard to find your life inhibitors by yourself. Let’s face it, if you consciously knew what was holding you back, you’d have fixed it by now and be sitting exactly where you want to be; all life conditions perfectly in place as your heart desired it to be.
I don’t need to tell you that profound personal change doesn’t work that way. I’m guessing you’ve noticed that one already. The catalyst for my change journey felt ridiculously counterintuitive to me. It began five years ago when I learnt the power of one simple word: ‘Yes!’ Saying ‘yes’ to me because I valued myself enough to no longer live a life that I wasn’t jumping out of bed for. I made a series of stupidly scary financial investments in myself because I was a ‘yes’ to myself. Faced with your large ‘yes’ to yourself, your ego delivers an award winning performance of all the reasons you are not worth it, might fail and a shopping list of all the other ‘more practical’ uses for that kind of cash.
I know the feeling well. It has become a friend (no less scary a friend I might add), but one that I have come to trust in its predictability and belief in me. Because whenever I say yes to me, the whole universe shifts to meet me.
Without fail, that commitment to become more of who I am here to be, delivers an enormous return on the investment. I get to come ‘up close and personal’ with my belief in myself (and so do those around me). It’s game changing. So I’ve just signed up to a year-long programme to work with one of my favorite mentors at an eye wateringly significant price tag!
My ‘enough of’ this time?
Enough of being the best kept secret amongst the clients I’ve already worked with.
Enough of hiding behind the idea that to share my gifts and myself with those I can help will result in me becoming a terrible Mother and wife.
Enough of being invisible and not sharing my knowledge, insights and experience with those it may set free.
And the magic is already unfolding.
I’d love to hear your ‘enough of’ in the comments below or if you’d prefer to contact me privately, here