Each week in The Wisdom of Change blog series, I share the original artwork and unpack the insights and meaning behind one of the 44 cards in The Wisdom of Change oracle deck.
This week’s card is 17 Re-Energise
The wisdom in this card landed with me when I had exhausted myself and yet I was still pushing myself. I couldn’t accept that in that moment, I had no more left to give. I kept telling myself there must be more in the tank and that I needed to push through the exhaustion. It was a tough lesson to learn. For a protracted period of time, I refused to listen. Ignoring my inner wisdom ultimately led to adrenal fatigue that took me many months to recover from.
Since that time, I have learnt that taking time out to re-energise is as noble and productive as bouts of enthusiastic action. I used to sit for hours glued to my computer screen, forcing myself to keep my eyes open and to focus on finding a way out of the problem in front of me. I did not allow myself any ‘downtime’ to rest and recuperate because I didn’t believe I deserved it. Until I could figure things out, I was intent on not letting myself off the hook. I was flogging a dead horse.
Aligned solutions to challenges definitely don’t arrive with us that way.
One day when I could hardly keep my eyes open, my whole body aching and my brain so foggy I could barely think straight, I finally gave in. In despair I took myself off to bed in the middle of the afternoon and just let go. I cried and slept, lamented and pondered. I fell asleep again and woke feeling better, but still with no energy in the tank. I lay motionless and let my thoughts wander. I watched them come and go; followed their dead-end trajectories, too exhausted to fight anymore, too wretched to try and fathom it all out by myself.
In time my frantic thought processes gave way to something gentler. In my exhaustion induced surrender I made way for my inner knowing to finally take the stage. She danced into the void. Her gorgeous, sparkling energy felt strange to me; a forgotten companion from my carefree childhood was inviting me to reconnect. I was taken back to a more joyful time. I remembered when life flowed effortlessly and I was full of excitement, optimism and joy; at peace with myself and with the world around me. It was that feeling that I longed for in adulthood.
I realised that it was all so much simpler then. I wasn’t trying to be someone. I just was someone. I had no romantic relationship to angst over, no social media grappling for my attention, no place to be in but in the now. I wasn’t constantly striving. I was confident on my path because I was allowing my passions to show me where to place my focus. The road I travelled was easy and exciting because I was in divine flow. I was being guided to re-energise from that place.
Laying exhausted in my bed I followed that feeling. I connected to how it felt to be riding my horse as a teenager. I remembered how I felt in my body, the sounds of nature around me, the gentle warmth of the sun, my unconditional love for this beautiful animal and our unspoken understanding as we explored new paths together. I connected to the joy and ease of simply being in my body and at one with myself.
From that space new insights began to filter into my consciousness. I felt my energy reserves begin to rise again. A sense of joy and optimism returned and finally the penny dropped. Without rest and self-care, without periods of inertia and meandering reflection, we cannot go forward with grace and alignment.
As the weeks passed, I nursed my energy back to life with hot baths, afternoon naps and beautiful walks in the countryside with no time constraints. I took long lie ins to make time to hear my intuitive nudges. I carved out guilt free reading time with books that soothed my soul and helped me pull together the pieces the jigsaw puzzle. I indulged in occasional Netflix binges, nourished myself with food that packed a nutritional punch and treated myself to exquisite chocolate and organic wine when I felt called to. I said no to unappealing demands and delighted in the calling of my creative soul. To my utter amazement I got just as much done in half the time and found a sense of excitement replaced my despair. I gave myself permission to hear my hearts calling and it led to where I find myself now.
So, I invite you to practice some self-love and re-energise your tank.
Your journey cannot be effective without attention to your needs.
You may be surprised and delighted by where it leads.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s connection to your inner wisdom.
As always, I’d love to hear your comments below.