I hear you!

I tried just about everything to shift my unwanted bodyfat for years on end. I’d look at myself in the mirror and think ‘who is that fat person?’ My New Year resolution was to get myself into the best physical shape I could. It was the same resolution, or a variation of it, for at least two decades. How was it possible to be so perennially unhappy in my body and still manage to function?

Every morning I would wake with the same sinking thought ‘oh no, I’m still fat’. It was hardly the best way to get my day off to a great start. My dissatisfaction with my stubborn body fat pervaded everything I thought about and everything I did. It prevented me having the kind of relationships I desired. It would stop me going on sun holidays because I just couldn’t bear to be in a bikini. It stopped me going to social gatherings that were anything more that casual dress because I just couldn’t face stuffing myself into formal wear. I hated being photographed. I always felt out of alignment with myself and others. I always felt less than. Everything was about my weight.

I didn’t look on the outside how I felt on the inside. I didn’t relate to being overweight. In
my mind I wasn’t fat. The scales and my reflection told a different story. The way I looked didn’t represent who I was or what I ate for that matter. I was active, busy, health conscious and thought I ate pretty well. I succeeded in life in spite of my physical form. I powered through by force of will and strength of character. I never felt free and at ease in my own skin. It was exhausting to feel continuously out of alignment with my body.

Then one day I learnt about the concept of emotional weight. I came to understand that my body was retaining weight to protect my vital organs from the impact of too much stress hormone and too many toxins. Storing fat is a mechanism our body employs to do all it can to protect us from our unwise and often unwitting life choices. It buffers us from the conditions that could harm us physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Fat locks up cortisol, by products of the things we consume and harmful chemicals and stores them out
of harm’s way. From this perspective, fat is our friend. It is doing all it can to help us. Making friends with my fat in this way softened my punitive approach towards myself and finally afforded me a new perspective on weight issues.

Subconsciously we hold onto fat for all sorts of reasons; to keep us from shining and being visible, to protect us from unwanted attention, to stop us becoming all we are here to be. It keeps us playing small. Our unwanted pounds are inviting us to learn to trust ourselves. They will stubbornly refuse to melt away until we can learn to be an unequivocal yes to ourselves. We won’t be sustainably svelte until we to put ourselves first, tend to our needs, hear our hearts desires and no longer self-abandon.

Losing weight is a self-honouring process. It requires us to know ourselves better and to fathom the factors at play. It demands of us that we give ourselves proper attention and learn ourselves inside and out. It wants us to know and acknowledge our unique food preferences, what we are intolerant to and how our body desires to be honoured through the fuel we offer it. It invites us to shed light on where we stuff down emotions with the act of eating and how we stuff down food to fill a void that is not physical hunger. Sustainable, healthy wisdom led weight loss is a journey of self-discovery.

So where did I start?

I started with a yes to myself. I committed to finding the answer to my weight issue
whatever it took. I dedicated my focus to understanding the forces at play and what was needed and I got stuck in. I began with transforming empty calories and starting to eat food that packed a nutritional punch. To start with I used supplements – the best I could afford and I found a way to do it that was easy, enjoyable and tasted good. This gave me the energy to start cutting out things that are universally accepted as being bad for our bodies and replace it with better quality choices. This led me to feel strong enough to begin some
life changing detox protocols and advance my understanding of food far beyond calorie counting and exercise regimes.

Today I live free from weight drama and confident I my body. I can’t tell you how good that feels and how worthwhile the quest was.

Don’t give up on the body wisdom that is your unwanted fat. You can do this and if you want to pick my brains about your next move, reach out and say Hi.

You’ve got this.


1 Comment

  1. Liz Gow

    How inspiring and good for you. Thank you for sharing your story.


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